Las Vegas Deja Vu
by Tracy Space Cowgirl
Summary: An alternate version of "Viva Las Vegas". Aliens and Alcohol do not mix.


Las Vegas Deja Vu Las Vegas Deja Vu   
by Tracy (biancaheart@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Category: T/K, M/L, CC

Spoilers: "Viva Las Vegas"

Disclaimer: I in no way own Roswell. But I'm   
interested in buying the woozle…

Sometimes, things in life make absolutely no sense.   
They blind side you, leaving you helpless. Other   
times things seem way too similar to things in the   
past.

I didn't want to go to Vegas. But Maria with her   
bubbliness and well, Maria-ness, talked me into it.   
Off I went to the land of themed casinos, showgirls,   
and wedding chapels. And I really, really, really,   
don't want to think about the wedding chapels. I saw   
an advertisement for the Elvis chapel, and I   
practically broke down in front of everyone. But   
wedding chapels- I guess you could say that's what   
made this trip interesting……or a nightmare.

The first mistake came when Michael gave us fake id's.   
As if a bunch of seventeen and eighteen year olds   
aren't going to go and do what they shouldn't.   
Especially knowing my ex-boyfriend, who- I can tell   
you from experience- loved getting drunk. I held his   
head one too many times over the porcelain throne.

But surprisingly, Kyle wasn't the instigator of the   
alcoholic madness this time. He was part of the   
consequence.

The blame lay directly on the shoulders of the pixie   
queen herself, Maria. Not that I don't love her, but   
her crazy sense of adventure has gotten me into   
trouble more than a few times in the past. The only   
time I had detention in middle school was due to her   
brilliant plan to get Spice Girls tickets. We were   
going to skip class and hitchhike to Albuquerque to   
get front row tickets. We didn't make it out of the   
building, and my parent's didn't take kindly to my   
detention.

Maria bought herself a margarita. Now hey, I   
understand why she did and all- who wouldn't want to   
break the rules and get away with it?

But it's what she did with the drink that caused the   
madness.

She let Tess have a sip.

And all hell broke loose.

***

"Liz?" Tess walked towards me with a goofy look on   
her face. "You're pretty. Pretty pretty pretty."

I didn't know what to say. Now Tess and I have   
reached the point of acting civil to each other, and   
we can even work together to save our friends, but   
there is no love lost between us. We tolerate each   
other- me because I know that for some twisted reason,   
the world needs her to keep on turning, and her   
because she's managed to weasel her way into my circle   
of friends. She likes it here, and I don't see her   
leaving.

"Ok…" I stated, noticing her eyes look a little   
weird.

"I mean, you're pretty. You have dark hair, and   
you're smart, and everybody loves you. Everybody   
loves you. Max loves you. Heck, you're the sweetheart   
of Roswell. Perfect, perfect, perfect in every, every   
way."

I have definitely left Las Vegas and tripped into the   
Twilight Zone.

"And you know what?" She says, plopping down   
ungracefully on the chair beside me. "I think Kyle   
loves you too. He dated you and all, and in his   
diary, if you read it, it's all like 'I Love Liz' and   
I thought it was funny that he even kept a diary, but   
he keeps spiritual books next to naughty, naughty,   
magazines!" She chirps. Then Tess starts to laugh   
hysterically.

I have surely been given too much information.   
"Tess are you, well, ok?"

"I've never been better, you know? It's like a little   
bit of a party in one bang…"

"What happened to you?"

She giggled. "I'm drunk!"

Oh great.

Last year, Max was the inebriated alien. This year,   
it's my job to make sure Tess doesn't do anything too   
foolish in her drunken stupor. But maybe it would   
serve her right if she did…

"Where did you get the drink, Tess?"

"I tried some of Maria's. To see if I wanted to buy   
one of my own."

Maria must have forgotten the key rule when dealing   
with our favorite Czechs. Alcohol is a no no.

Tess is drunk, very drunk, off of one sip.

"Come on, Tess" I exclaimed, grabbing her arm.

"Where are we going? Are we gonna see the Wizard of   
Oz?"

I sigh. I needed help. Fast.

"Whatever you want, Goldilocks."

****

I lost Tess as we were going through the Casino. Not   
a good idea, I know, but you try keeping up with a   
drunk alien. And yes, she was more annoying drunk   
than sober.

I felt terrible. Spazzy. I don't like to stress, to   
spazz out. I usually leave it to Maria, because she   
has the magical cedar oil.

But I had just lost a drunk alien.

A drunk female alien who would lose any amount of   
inhibition. A drunk female alien who would do or say   
anything and not remember it the next day.

"Shii.."

I was interrupted by Alex running up to me in a panic.   
"I lost Kyle."

"You did what?" I squeaked.

"I lost Kyle." He repeated.

"How could you lose Kyle? He's a 160 pounds of   
Greco-Roman wrestler for crying out loud. They don't   
just disappear!"

"It gets worse."   
"How?" I sighed.

"He was drunk."

"I thought he gave all that up. Did he fall off the   
Buddha wagon?"

"I spiked his drink…he always used to be so much fun   
to watch when he was drunk, back when you were going   
out…"

"ALEXANDER CHARLES WHITMAN!" I shriek, not caring   
that the entire casino is looking at me. "Do you have   
any idea what you've done? Kyle didn't just give up   
alcohol because of the Buddhism, he gave it up because   
he can't handle it anymore."

"He went soft?"

"No, the healing, remember?"

"So people that get healed have the alcohol thing   
too?"

"Sometime later, you can ask Maria about New Years   
last year, ok? So where did you lose him?"

"I was walking him back to the room."

"This is just great!" I sighed. "We've got one drunk   
Buddhist jock, one drunk alien,"

"One Maria that just auditioned to be a stripper."

"What?"

"She didn't read the ad." He muttered.

"Ok, one drunk Buddhist jock, one drunk alien, and one   
pixie girl who auditioned to be a stripper…and Max and   
Dr. Love are off doing the male bonding thing…and   
Isabel is MIA. Things are just wonderful."

"I'm glad you can be optimistic at a time like this."   


I shook my head.

"Bite my ass, Krispy Kreme."

"Touchy" he said, in a low annoyed voice, but he   
followed my lead.

****

I found Maria at a table with another margarita. My   
best friend was wasting away in Margaritaville. She   
was laughing, actually.

"Liz, I auditioned to be a stripper. Poor little   
innocent me. Me. And guess what? Spaceboy and Mr.   
Perfect are in jail."

"Is everyone freaking drunk?" I scream. "Or just   
completely crazy? Is it so bad to just want to get   
the hell out of Roswell and enjoy ourselves for a   
change? Maybe it's because none of us can take care   
of ourselves worth a hoot. For crying out loud. Am I   
the only responsible person here?"   
"I'm responsible" Alex spoke up.

"No, you're just an idiot."

"I'm not drunk." Maria protested. "I'm just upset and   
a teeny tiny tad bit tipsy. That's all."

"Well, Miss Tipsy, we have a crisis situation on our   
hands."

"We do?"

"Kyle is drunk, and missing."

She laughed. "Like that's never happened before?"

"He only had a tiny bit…because of the healing, he   
can't tolerate much- or any…"

"He's doing a psycho Max blind date thing?" She   
chortled. "This….this is priceless. Priceless, Liz.   
I mean, I thought he couldn't handle his booze   
before…but now….wait till the jocks hear about this.."

"Maria" I took a deep breath. "It gets worse. Tess   
is drunk and gone as well."

She looked at me incredulously. "So you're saying   
that we have two, underage, drunk, teenagers from   
Roswell, one of those who happens to be an alien,   
running loose in Vegas."

"Yup. Plus two aliens in jail."

"I should give up the singing thing and become a   
reporter."

I took my wad of money out of my wallet. "Go bail out   
the boys. Alex and I will continue to look for the   
prodigal two."

"Good luck. Man, is spaceboy gonna pay…." Maria   
continued her babble on her journey to get a cab.

****   
Two hours later, we still haven't found hide nor hair   
of Kyle or Tess. Alex and I were exhausted, and   
thirsty. We headed back to the room, to get something   
to drink and to use the toilet.

Max was heading out the door with his bag as we walked   
in.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm catching a cab to the airport."

"What happened?"

"Michael."

I put my hand on his arm. "I'm sure you can work it   
out."

"I doubt it, Liz. Too much stuff was said."

"You know, Maria thinks that Michael's brain and his   
mouth are in no way connected to one another.."

"Liz, there are some things that you can't fix."   
He walked out the door.

And once again, my stomach drops to the bottom of my   
feet.

I had to make Max fall out of love with me. But I   
didn't fall out of love with him.

***

Maria and I got dressed in the new outfits she'd   
picked out for that night. I had a really pretty,   
red, strappy dress- but my heart just wasn't in it   
anymore. Max was gone, Tess and Kyle were missing,   
Isabel was missing, Michael was grumpy, as usual, Alex   
was whining about losing all his money, and Maria was   
complaining about Michael, as usual.

I just wanted to be a child again, to go and goof off   
without my friends without any major crisis or enemy   
aliens.

The bright point of the dinner was when Michael did   
something romantic. Yes Michael. I was shocked. He   
did give Maria generic shampoo for a gift- I assumed   
he was even more clueless than Kyle in the "What A   
Girl Wants" Category.

I sat there with Alex, beaming up at my best friend,   
singing her heart out in a Las Vegas restraunt.

And then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Max. I knew his touch- I'll always know his touch.   
Always.

He was slightly out of breath. "Liz, we've got   
trouble?"

"What?"

"I….I….I…..saw a bride and groom coming out of the   
taxi and into the hotel as I was leaving…."

"And?"

"The newlyweds were Tess and Kyle."

"Oy Vey."

"What do we do? How could this happen?"

"Think about it, Max." Alex spoke up. "They are two   
teenagers- who obviously have some sexual tension- I   
mean, if you would even notice the way they look at   
each other, and they do live in the same house…Plus   
they had a whole heck of a lot of money, and ID's that   
made them of legal age…"

"We've got to go find them…it's not legal, not   
really…"

"What?" Maria said, coming back to the stage glowing.   
"Girlfriend, I thought you left."

"We think Tess and Kyle got married."

"This has got to be like some sort of screwed up   
"Friends" episode." Maria responded.

Michael who had been standing behind Maria started to   
laugh. "Now that's what I call living it up in   
Vegas!"

***   
"You go in."

"No, you."

"Max!"

"Oh come on, you've seen Kyle naked…you can handle   
this…"

"You had fantasies about Tess."

"I couldn't control those, thank you very much, and   
they weren't real. Not like you and Kyle.."

"I didn't, Max."

"Didn't what?"

"I didn't sleep with Kyle."

"What?" he shrieked. "Then what in the…."

The whole story comes pouring out. The fortune   
teller, Future Max, the wedding in Vegas, and our   
wedding dance.

For a moment, he just stands still, looking deep into   
my eyes. And then he puts his arms around me in a   
huge hug.

"I'll go in." He said, and used his powers to open   
the lock.

He started to laugh.

"Liz, you've got to see this…"

Tess and Kyle are indeed married- they had the dress,   
the tuxedo, and even the rings. On the dresser is a   
marriage certificate for Mr. And Mrs. Wallbanger.   
They were both still fully dressed, with their clothes   
only slightly rumpled. Tess is curled up in Kyle's   
arms, asleep. Her head is on his chest. And on   
further inspection, I notice that Kyle's face and neck   
is covered with Tess' bright red lipstick.

"I guess they had a good time." Max comments.   
"Except for the whole, falling asleep on your wedding   
night thing."

***

After we woke up the new couple, and after everyone   
had a good laugh at their expense, we made our way   
back to our suite.

Where the Sheriff was waiting for us.

He was not thrilled at all to see that his son and   
foster kid had gotten married. At 17- in Vegas.

We all got a lecture about how it was acceptable to   
skip class to save the world, but not to recklessly   
gamble. Or to get married.

And something happened today that reminded me all of   
our Vegas escapade.

It probably has to do with the fact that we're all   
back in Vegas. And this time, the Sheriff came with   
us, along with Amy and their twins.

Kyle and Tess got married today. Again.

Getting drunk can be a good thing. You let your guard   
down and reveal things- things you wouldn't usually   
share.

When we got back to Roswell, the Sheriff pulled a few   
strings and got the marriage officially annulled. Not   
that it was ever really, really, legal, because they   
were underage and all, but all the same, all bases   
were covered. But the whole marriage resulted in Kyle   
and Tess starting a relationship. Now that they're   
both 21, they went and tied the knot. They wore the   
same suit and dress as the first time, and had the   
ceremony in the Elvis Chapel. I guess Tess really   
was born to be a bride.

The Elvis Chapel has been somewhat of tradition for   
us, I guess. In an amazing parallel to that first   
fateful trip, we had a surprise marriage this time as   
well. Michael snuck some Champagne into the   
reception, and Isabel got, well…a little frisky. We   
didn't notice when she disappeared with Alex, but we   
did notice the silly grins and rings that they both   
wore. Michael immediately waggled his eyes and asked   
Maria if she wanted to tie the knot, but she assured   
him that there was no way he was going to get out of   
the church wedding planned for next month.

Max and I? Let's just say that the Elvis Chapel does   
have special significance to me. Not only have two of   
my closest friends tied the knot here, I have- in two   
different universes. And I got my wedding dance   
afterwards as well. It seems that no matter what   
destiny decreed, Max and I are meant to be together.   
No matter what the odds.   
  
  



End file.
